♪ Daddy's Little Girl...yeah...♪

When you are three, this is how your daddy sees you, and you feel like a princess...


"You’re the end of the rainbow, my pot of gold.
You're daddy's little girl, to have and hold.
A precious gem is what you are;
You're mommy's bright and shining star.

You’re the spirit of Christmas, the star on our tree.
You’re the Easter Bunny to Mommy and me.
You’re sugar, you're spice, and you're everything nice
And You’re Daddy’s Little Girl

You’re a treasure I cherish, all sparkling and bright.
You were touched by Holy and beautiful light;
Like the angels who sing, a heavenly thing;
And you’re Daddy’s Little Girl"


...and sometimes as a bride you danced to this in your daddy's arms. Some girls feel this way their whole lives. Lucky lucky lucky ducks... Sometimes Life doesn't let the fairy tale turn out just like that... and we carry on. Just like my dad always told us to. Hmmmph.


My big strong daddy could speak and read seven languages, play basketball and football, got tenure at a college at a  young age, and was the toast of the town. When I was three. 


Alcohol literally consumed him during my childhood. We didn't dance at my wedding...


I talked to my sister, Daniella, today, for the first time in our lives. She has a beautiful, soft, Israeli-accented voice which matches her beautiful face, and we both wept and sniffled the whole time we were on the phone, and I got to tell her thank you for being there for Daddy, and that I loved her.


See, after my parent's divorce when my sisters and I ranged in age from senior in high school to second grader, my dad went on to have six more kids, a total of three sons and seven daughters in all. ( My mom was pretty funny after she found out that he'd had a passel more children " Boy am I glad he left!", as she jolly well should,  but deep in her heart she still mourns his leaving.)


Through a Series of Unfortunate Events that would make a Lifetime movie instead of a comical jaunt with Jim Carrey and Meryl Streep, we were disowned and estranged from my dad for ten long years. During that time I had my three sons; my brother and sister-in-law their fourth child, my dad as well. Both girls, one named Danielle, and one named Daniella. Through a Second Series of Unfortunate Events my dad's second marriage ended, and he spent a lot of years living a sad lonely life -- except for Daniella. She would visit, and she had pictures of us, her American family, up in the room she stayed in. She would write me notes and I wrote back, glad to know that my alcoholic father had something to focus on besides his past turbulent vodka consumption.

He got sober finally, but not until every one of his kids except for three -- me, Daniella, and my big brother  -- wanted to have anything to do with him.  The last fifteen years have been an exercise in perseverance, as my dad has  slowly declined into an advanced elderly state and into dementia. The once brilliant athlete-scholar wore himself out with his self-destruction.

I think he felt his dementia coming on, and five years ago he called and said he wanted to come home for Christmas. He spent time with my brother and family up north, and then my mother offered to have him stay with her so we could all be home together. It is the only time we have been  with my parents,both together, since 1978, and the only time I have seen my dad in person since 1986, and the one and only time my sons, nieces and nephews will ever know their grandpa.

Daniella wrote today and said that Daddy had surgery, and that the outcome wasn't clear.  He's 79 years old, with a 40 year alcohol abuse history. We cried together when we later spoke on the phone. See, she hasn't had the extra thirty years to distance herself from being 'Daddy's little girl'... and even though I have, I still cried.

None of us sister-siblings has felt much like Daddy's little girl... but the memory of those long-ago princess moments with him might carry us through what comes next, and allow some grace to soften the not-so-princess ones.

Peace and comfort to you, Dad. Peace and comfort.