an Invitation...

This week has been a painful study in relationship for me, and as per my usual, I have worried it like a puppy with a bone.

My track record with relationships generally has been dismal. D I S M A L. I was raised in an environment of “do as you’re told, then I will love you, and if you don’t, I won’t love you until you do.” It’s not as bad as it sounds, just echoes of Germanic/Amish ancestry, where everything is practical and purposeful with not much room for latitude.

While firm boundaries and no-nonsense raises people who are good students and good workers,  there’s a human element missing. Respect and affection, to be precise.

Yesterday my son4, Jon’s only boy, posted a ‘funny’ on his Facebook page, a query with the general premise that only arrogant people can claim to have a relationship with the Creator of the universe.  At first glance, that would seem to be true. How dare we mere mortal claim to have a personal relationship with the Creator of galaxies and cosmos, of mountain ranges and vast oceans, of majestic creatures and lush botanicals? How dare we?

We were invited. God invited Adam and Eve to the garden by creating them ( and others, but that’s another blog entirely).

God invited Mary to be theotokos, God-bearer. He prepared her throughout her life to be the pure vessel for the Incarnate Word. He didn’t just show up and say, DO THIS!!! I SAY SO!!! He sent an angel to announce that she had been chosen, and gently, respectfully allowed her to process the wonder that she had been chosen.

Jesus invites us to be in relationship with Him. How does dying force anyone to do His bidding? He died – He didn’t slay the enemy, set up camp, and reign forever like all other royalty has done and still does (albeit royalty has devolved to elected heads of state). HE died, and invited us to remember Him in the taking of the bread and wine and in serving His people.

It’s an invitation. Like any other, you can choose to go to the party or not. If you go to the party, behave yourself, like at any other social function. Be respectful and gracious to your Host. Help serve, help clean up, help spread good cheer. Meet new people and build relationships, but don’t limit yourselves to just the one that make YOU feel all warm and fuzzy. Relationships aren’t just for parties.

Relationship with God is just like any other relationship…you want to be your best, all the time, not just because God tells you what to do -- or you tell Him what you want, but because He wants the best for you and you want to be the best. If you mess up, say you are sorry and try not to do it again. If you do, say you are sorry and try not to do it again. If you are sincere in the relationship, you’ll stop having to say sorry so often…because Love will change you into a better version of you. If you have to change to be a different version of you, that’s not love, nor relationship. That’s just wrong.

When I fell in love with Jonathan it felt like the return to life,  like returning from being the scaly dragon that Eustace had become in the Chronicles of Narnia. Eustace had wandered into a dragon’s cave and woke up AS a dragon, with his own bracelet still embedded on a huge scaly limb. After the joy and terror of learning how to be a dragon which everyone feared, a metamorphosis occurred and the scales started slipping off. I remember C.S. Lewis describing them fluttering and glittering like jewels in the sunlight.

I have no greater grin on my face than I do when I think of Jonathan, see his portrait, or hear his voice. My kids will tell you they’ve never seen me smile like that. I ‘loved’ their dad, but it wasn’t  the Love that passes all understanding. It was the conditional love I grew up experiencing. “If you do all your homework and all your chores and make God happy, I love you.” The non-mature 20-something put forth this message, “If you take care of me and my kids I will love you forever.”  When he stopped meeting those terms, I stopped. That wasn’t love. Love endures all things. 

I want to be the best for Jonathan, and that simply means being me, not doing things that make him happy. He loves me, not what I do, and vice versa. We are in relationship.

I want to do the best for God. I cannot MAKE Him happy -- He is God. He IS Happiness! IS. 

God’s love for us is simple. “ I sent You my only Son to take away your sins…accept this gift from Me to make Your lives have purpose and meaning and eternity…” Before He sent us His Son, He gave us a set of rules, 10 rules (which transcend all cultures ) to follow so that we live our lives in response to that Love. 

As for the rest of the Levitical law, men set forth the conditions that many feel they have to meet for that Love.

BE holy!!!!! 

NEVER break a Commandment or you burn in hell!!! 

GO to church every Sunday and associate with ONLY church people!!!! 

MAKE SURE you evangelize/convert/proselytize everyone you meet so THEY don’t burn in hell!!!!

That last one gets me more than the rest. It’s interesting that 5,000 years after Moses brought down the Commandments from Mt. Sinai, and 2,000 years after the Messiah came and walked among the people that we are still so stupid.

WE cannot be holy. We are human. We can make choices to act in holy manners, we can live by the Ten Commandments to follow God’s holy laws, we can certainly fellowship with others in holiness and brotherhood, but we cannot MAKE others become holy. GOD does not make people holy, He shares His holiness with us. HE is not a magician. We are not magicians.

Evangelism has devolved from the disciples sharing the Word and inviting others to know the unselfish love of Jesus to coshing people over the head with Christianity and threatening them with damnation if they don’t accept the invitation. Judgment is not evangelism. 

You don’t have a dinner party and then tell all your guests how to eat and what to say and how they should live. You invite them to your home, feed them, take an interest in their lives and show them how you live. That’s evangelism.

Being in relationship with the Creator has nothing to do with arrogance, self-righteousness, or holiness.

It’s a response to an open–ended invitation. A lifelong, daily invitation to come to the Party, to dance with the Host, and to bring all your friends. The table has been set, the House is ready. You can come as you are…