Listing, Gently, On a Mother Sea

Brett posted a photo of his dorm room at Texas Tech last night with the caption, 'All moved in'. He has always settled into a new place with lightning speed. 
     In January, when we moved here to "The Manor", he had his room put together before the second load of lamps, furniture, and paraphernalia had even arrived from across town. 
     Three years ago, while Randall and I were lugging Craig's belongings to his freshman dorm (which smelled strongly of boy-socks), Brett called from The Cottage, where we lived at that time. " Mom, uh, can I have Craig's room?"  Balancing a laundry basket filled with tip-able non-laundry items in one arm, and cradling the phone to my neck while the other toted a zippered bag with new bedding in it, I said, "Sure. Craig can sleep in your old room when he comes home for the weekend." ( It's not as hard-hearted as you'd think. Craig stripped his room bare three days before HE GRADUATED from high school...so...) But before Rand and I got back from OKC, that day, Brett had moved into the new room and moved all of the Remnants of Craig to the new Spare Oom. Holy cow. 
     Today I am listing. Not making lists. Listing, like a ship on the water. One side to the other. 
      Nostalgic, a little wistful for my youngest's childhood discarded for new adventures. 
      Re-arranging furniture ( Randall did that part before he went to work), shifting books around, mixing Jonathan's large collection of sci-fi, military, childhood classics - Edgar Rice Burroughs and Ian Fleming -- and political diatribes with my own mix of mostly-chick-lit, Christian, political diatribes, and childhood classics -- Carolyn Keene, C.S. Lewis, and E.B. White -- helps keep my mind off of the empty room at the end of the hall and the new life unfurling eleven stories above Texas Tech University. 
     Even though I'm listing today, I'm oh-so-ready for a new phase of life.
     One where I am no longer a cancer patient or a surgery patient in interminable recovery, but one like Brett's where some stuff gets left behind and the important stuff gets taken on ahead.
     One where Jon and I pick up the reins of couples that have been together all this time and now can just be themselves without the concerns of parents concerned about their children making it to adulthood. Not that we have anything to be concerned about. 
     All nine of our kids are awesome. Courtney and Craig and Brett and Hope have left their respective nests. Carianne would have long ago (for somewhere quiet and full of books) but she has one more school year of hanging out with her twin siblings, Laura and Jack, until they graduate. Randall will get his own place when I get on my feet again -- and Samantha will, too, now that she has finished Phase 1 of her education. Plus, we'll have ten official kids when Craig and Emily get hitched the week before the twins' graduation! 
     So, today -- as I dust shelves and remember the Ian Fleming collection from a long-ago summer where Jonathan and I, two tow-headed kids had our noses in books while everyone else was outside eating watermelon -- I'm listing. 
     No storms. Just trying to get my sea legs steady while I wait to see what course I take next. 

If you've ever felt like you were adrift, or if you feel like it now, you can leave an anonymous comment at the bottom of my blog page. The Listening Post is open...